Our Story

For those of you who have not yet heard it - or would like to hear it again - we would love to share the story of our unexpected joy coming this season...

Our hope is that you will walk away sharing our awe of a God that every so often, in His grace and love, chooses to pour out blessings in the most miraculous ways.

August 2014. We moved to Indianapolis. I was out of school, and with this new-found stability and our mutual desire to glorify God through raising the next generation to love Him, we thought perhaps now would be a good time for us to add a child to our home.


August 2015. I was let go from my job as a public school teacher. And after a year of sickness and negative pregnancy tests, a visit to the doctor told us I could not conceive.

With no immediate path towards a teaching career or motherhood, I struggled with feeling directionless, purposeless, and empty. And the more my eyes turned inward towards myself and the more I looked with envy on the blessings of others, the more I was drawn toward despair and bitterness.

Thankfully, during this time, I was so blessed to have many wonderful people come alongside me to offer comfort and encouragement. (The chief of these being my husband, who dealt with my meltdowns, pity-parties, and tears with compassionate grace and love...)

We began praying that however our lives ended up interacting with children - whether through pregnancy, fostering, adopting, or teaching - our story would be a unique display of God's strength, glory, and love.


November 2015. As I began to regain health, we started to research adoption options. (Side Note: Adoption is EXPENSIVE. Yowza.) However, as Ben's PhD continued to drag on and his graduation date repeatedly pushed back, we were forced to delay until we had the stability and finances to pursue it.

In the meantime, my doctor recommended resuming birth control so we could try at least a round or two of fertility medications. But because my insurance had ended and Ben's new insurance would not start until after he graduated, we told him it would have to wait.

Then out of the blue, God provided me a wonderful job teaching infants and toddlers. What a timely blessing this experience was! Working alongside fellow believers in this way helped me focus on serving others rather than mourning my own emptiness.


New Years 2016. We decided to open up to Ben's grandparents about our struggles. We knew as faithful followers of Christ who had adopted children themselves, they would have valuable insights for us in this particular season of suffering. They listened to our fears, shared their wisdom, and compassionately grieved with us. And they started praying.


February 2016. I noticed I had not been sick for a month or two. My mind drifted to that one last pregnancy test I had stashed under the sink. Ben and I agreed that once this one was gone, we would not buy another box.

Negative.

So away went the box. And with it, our focus on pursuing pregnancy.

March 2016. Introducing DOCTOR ALLEN! Ben completed his degree and started his full-time job. (Haaaaallelujah!) As soon as his insurance kicked in, I called to fill the prescription the doctor had given me all those months ago. Because it had expired, the nurse explained I needed another check-up before she could renew it. I was annoyed (hilarious in hind sight,) but made an appointment for March 30th.

When the day came, the doctor wrote a prescription to help jump-start my hormones again. Because this particular medicine was dangerous for pregnant women, he explained they needed a recent negative pregnancy test on file before he could sign off on me filling it. I assured him I had just taken one a month ago, but went ahead and took the test.

As I waited for the results in the exam room, prescription in hand, I began to wonder why it taking so long. I heard some commotion in the hallway, and when the nurse returned, the doctor was with her.

"Well, change of plans. Your test was positive."
What? Are you sure?
"Pretty sure... I've never seen a test turn positive so fast."
What do I do?!?
"Probably call somebody. But then we need to transfer you to ultrasound to see how far along you are."

After a quick call to my mom (I was too skeptical to call Ben at this point,) the tech prepped me for the ultrasound:
"Since you had a negative test a month ago, you're probably only 3-4 weeks along. We might be able to see a little jellybean, but it'll probably just look like a blip on the screen."

But when the probe touched me... Not a blip. Not even a little jellybean. But a tiny face filled the screen.

"Wow. I think you're a little further than a couple of weeks!"

Twelve. Weeks. TWELVE.
Past the dangers of the first trimester.
I had been pregnant for 3 months and not realized it.

WHAT?! But I just took a test last month!
"There's a reason they say those home tests are 99% accurate."

As I watched my baby son kicking away on the screen while the tech busied herself with measurements, I couldn't help but laugh.

Telling Ben that night is a whole other story in and of itself! Suffice it to say, April Fools weekend is NOT the best timing if you want your husband to believe his supposedly-barren wife is 3 months pregnant...

Looking back, we now see how God was weaving all those little details - the loss of my job, the painful diagnosis, the delaying of our new insurance, even the EXACT timing of Ben's grandparents' prayers - into a beautiful story of His power as the Giver of Life.

Important Note: We understand stories like this will be painful for some - and many continue to suffer (often in silence) through infertility and miscarriage. So to those who have rejoiced with us in spite of your own continuing pain: Thank you. We have been so encouraged by your strength in loving us this way.

As we prepare to welcome our new addition in the coming weeks, we wanted to share the bountiful way God, in His great mercy and love, has chosen to bless us. And as I ponder these things, my soul echoes David's words in Psalm 30:

I will extol You, O Lord, for You have lifted me up...
O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you healed me.
Sing praise to the LORD, you His godly ones, and give thanks to His holy name...
Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning...
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent,
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.